Health & Fitness
A Girl's Best Friend, Her Mom
When I was twenty-three way back in 1957, I was going with
or as they called it in those days, being courted by my boyfriend who has been
my husband for fifty-three years. I had to work half a day until noon on
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Saturdays. One day, I rebelled to the boss because I was on salary and did not
receive any money for the extra hours. He said OK, he would work one half day
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Saturday two times a month and I would work the other two. Then he kept on
changing ‘his’ Saturday shift and I wound up working still four Saturdays.
So I threatened to quit and he abided by his terms on
Saturdays. Either way, I went to the hairdresser, now called hair stylist at
four P.M. I took a cab home from work, the boss paid the five dollars charge
and I paid the twenty-five cent tip. That was our bargain on me working
Saturdays, he paid the cab bill and also for my carryout lunch. I did not have
a car then, so I came there on the transit bus and went home in a taxicab.
I would go home first from the cab and then about three
thirty in the afternoon, I walked the four blocks to the beauty parlor now
called hair salon. Then I got my hair washed and curled and most of the time, I
walked back home the four blocks and finished my hair up myself because I liked
it a certain way. One piece hung over the eye like the movie star Veronica Lake
and some said I looked like her. When we went to Hollywood in 1974, all the
travel guides on our tours said I looked like a young Maureen O’Hara. Both were
nice compliments.
The evenings of Saturday and Sunday while we were courting,
he would pick me up in his yellow/green Chevrolet 1957 year which probably cost
then about two thousand dollars. We went to night clubs that was what they were
called then. They were like a large restaurant with a dance floor and a floor
where a comedian who was up and coming and not well known gave his talk and you
hoped you could laugh at his lame jokes because you felt sorry for him trying
to be funny and the audiences sometimes just sat there with frowns on their
faces. We saw one who was unknown then and his name was Jackie Vernon. He stood
there acting sad and bored being there; his thing was to act like he was boring
to us and himself. By doing so, he became very funny and different and the
audience laughed a lot at his style. He went on to become semi prosperous and
then there was the singer, very handsome, named Jerry Vale. He sang love songs
which were very pretty and last year I bought his CD of his most famous love
songs. He kind of became famous and prosperous too. The night clubs were called
Mardi Gras and the other one was Gabriel’s. They were nice places to go on a
date with someone you cared about and it passed several hours and it was better
than going to the movies. Movies then cost about ninety cents and the time spent
in the night clubs cost about twenty dollars including dinner, tip and drinks.
The two places did have very tasty dinners and good drinks. I was and now not a
drinker, but it was nice to sip one all evening. Then we got up and danced, not
like we do now moving about the floor and knowing what we do is very good. We
look now like we belong on Dancing With The Stars and that is after
thirty-three years of dancing and dance lessons.
When we married and had a night out and Mom came to take
care of the kids, there were no longer Mardi Gras and Gabriel’s in business. We
went to a place called Westview Inn where the dance floor was about the size of
my smallest bathroom in my home, but the food was excellent. These tiny places
were where if you knew how to really dance, you had to stay in one little area
and dance in place; whereas us real knowledgeable dancers move all around a
dance hall room.
In those days, couples did not live together before
marriage. You waited to the clergyman married you and off you went to the
honeymoon and then you came home to your apartment for living life. Nowadays,
couples live together for four and five years and do not get the legality done.
I do not understand in my old senior age, why a girl would live with a guy that
long and not have the rings and the official papers and she keeps on doing it
for year after year. I know a young girl who is living with the guy for over
four years; she is twenty-six now and no ring. The funny thing is her mother is
giving him the grandmother’s diamond, a nice one and all he has to do is to
have it set in a ring setting which could cost him anywhere from five hundred
to a thousand and voila, they are engaged. He does not have to go to the
jewelry store to choose a diamond he can afford, pay it out if he does not have
the cash and be bogged down about its size. It is ready and waiting for him
from his to be mother-in-law and yet, no movements towards a wedding and
marriage and kids.
She keeps on waiting and she expected it may be on her
birthday the end of February, maybe on Valentine’s Day and whatever day there
is. In my day, you would have dumped him and been done with it.If he cannot
commit to marriage, why live together just for the doing of it. We would have
thought that if we were not good enough to marry, let him be free and you too
are free and look for someone else.
Now days there are dating services where you can look each
other’s picture over on the internet and make yourself available to meeting
etc. I know of about ten young girls in their twenties who did this and one
young woman who met her husband and she was about thirty-eight and he was about
forty-four. They connected and are married now for four years. They did live
together for the last four months after the wedding date was set and in
progress and she had the ring. No silliness there of being roommates with no
commitments.
We met on a blind date which is harder than meeting online
and seeing each other’s photo. My name was given to him by a young man who I
went out with for about thirty minutes and I did not like him and I told him I
had a tummy ache and had to go home. Funny thing, he goes and gives my number
and name to my husband when we did not like each other for those thirty
minutes. I turned my husband down three phone calls he made to me thinking he
would be a jerk like the one who gave him my number.
Finally after Mom urged me to give it a try and we sure
listened to our moms in those days. I did and the rest is history, fifty-three
years, two children, four grandchildren, nice home and a happy marriage.
We did not try out living together, we all in those days of
the fifties and early sixties lived at home to the moment we said “I Do.”
I guess you could say our way was better, less divorces, who
knows?
If you are fortunate enough to meet the one you want and he
wants you, then you have accomplished a lot. Never stop fighting or trying for
your dreams to come through. I know a man who married at age forty-two and she
was thirty-four and they tried for eight years to have children. Lo and behold
at age fifty and she was forty-two, they had twins, a boy and a girl. Happiness
comes at various times, at various moments and sometimes by chance.
I say and I made this one up, it is my saying: Take a chance
on love and wherever it occurs, let it occur spontaneously. I know a woman who
was engaged to a fellow and his nasty mother did not like her because she was a
hair stylist. So she broke them up and now she has been married for thirty some
years to a fine fellow, no mother-in-law to deal with and they are very happy.
The former boyfriend married twice already and his mom is still in the
background, old, sour and still interfering. She was lucky she did not marry
number one and number two was right there and awaiting her. Just think, he has
never had to go to a barber shop or hair salon, he gets free and good cuts and
does not leave the house. Think of the thousands of dollars they have and they
travel a lot using it up.
Love comes in mysterious ways and times and when it does,
you are ready for it and so is he, regardless of the ages. I know of a
fifty-six year old man who is married, his second to a thirty year old young
woman and they are expecting their first child, a son in a few weeks. He is
actually old enough to be her father, but love is there and even though his
daughter from the first marriage is only two years younger than his current
second wife; everyone is happy and content. His older kids think it nice for
him to have a new baby and when his daughter has her first one; her kid will be
a niece or nephew to her new brother. They can play together, uncle and niece
or nephew. Who cares? It is nice to have a baby around, the fellow who was
fifty with his first children, twins and the fifty-six year old new dad with
his new baby son.
Life is interesting and whatever makes you happy, that is
happiness enough and whatever people say about these late births, it is not of
the parents’ caring. They all are happy, content and glad to be alive for this
happening. So are their late bearing children who are here, safe, healthy and
being who they are. It does not matter the age of one of their parents or of
both their parents; they will be cared for, loved and happy.
As Carol Channing said in 1953 in the Broadway play
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes “ Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend.”
So too, is meeting
someone new regardless of your age, possibly having a child later in life than
some do, being happy in later life with your still husband of many years or
your new husband of less years; as long as you find happiness, contentment and
you have your health: “Diamonds and Happiness are a girl’s best friend.”
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